uncontrollable feelings

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as we start a new week i want to share with you very personal feelings.

my thoughts are everywhere, the feelings of anxiety, forgetting things, can’t keep one thought in my head and i feel as though i have been hit by a big wave of something that i cannot understand.

i have read all there is to read on this whole process ( recent surgery – symptoms ) and even though they say my feelings, physical and mental are normal, i feel frustrated as i cannot accept the idea of not being in control of my own well-being. read the epic

upfront and personal

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ya know what bites my ass? people who lie, cheat, say things that make no sense in order to make themselves feel better.

i hate fake people – why can’t we all just be who we are and say what we want?

i’ll tell you why, agenda! people have an agenda and for whatever reason they need to fulfil their private to do list on what will today bring, how can i piss someone off and feel good about what i did just so i can be epic. read the epic

what is on the agenda

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most of us can fulfil their days with absolutely nothing to do. others need to “pre-plan” everything in order to keep focus. i think humans in general go about their daily business as it is in their own personal life. whether work, play, duty, our days must consist of something to feel something.

i am no different – i wake up with a list of things to do beside my keyboard and for the most part i make that list happen. read the epic

you just decide

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i see far to many people fail at this thing called life, broken dreams, what ifs, lost ambition, sacrifice | where does it all go?

i truly believe whom ever you are, popular or not, you have to make the decision to do what is right for you and what fits your lifestyle needs. there is no wrong or right answer to life’s questions because everyone is different. read the epic

what i know now

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life is hard, i have heard it said it doesn’t have to be but life is full of bullshit and detours we never expect. it doesn’t matter how structured you are or how disciplined you can be, sometimes life takes turns.

i see so many lives being altered by society, it has to be said : WTF! read the epic

philosophy versus reality

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“a man should not strive to eliminate his complexes but to get into accord with them” – Sigmund Freud

proper behaviour, do we really know what that is? we were taught from time of birth, growing up in different cultures and societies, certain behaviours are unacceptable. some are simple, normal and others quite outrageous. i had a giggle yesterday, standing in line at a department store, watching, learning, behaviour of humans thinking how polite we have to be in the customer service world. read the epic

verbal masturbation

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there is an old saying – “put your foot in your mouth” but i learned recently that the idea of saying what you mean is more important than hiding behind a mask.

i took a trip recently, learning to discover more about others and myself, feeling as though i was on a mission of some sort, as usual, being who i am in my own natural way. read the epic