it seems obvious that even taking one day off doesn’t seem to be enough to do the things you want to do. even relaxing is impossible because your brain continuously goes round and round thinking of this and that.
well in my brain.
i have so much on my agenda and i need to do so many things that i can’t seem to relax. sleeping is an option these days, luckily i managed to nap in my pool for an hour yesterday, seems to be the only place i can really take time away. i have been thinking about travel lately, how winter can’t get here soon enough for me to take my adventures south and how i miss the ocean and palm trees. i am very fortunate i can do that and plan for those days when i can take off on a plane to a foreign destination.
yesterday, i also was thinking about things i haven’t even accomplished or should i say dreams that have never been realized. age really creeps up on you when you think about shit. 4 years ago, i have promised myself i would not stop myself from doing what i want to do but it seems life has a way of turning dreams and ambitions in another direction.
today i leave you with an old tune i found…food for thought
days have pasted and i have been busy with many other things, thoughts are scrambled but here we are again.
ever get those days when you can’t keep one simple thought in your head? that’s me lately and on my day off i took time out of the normal and went fishing. being out on the river, quiet, all you can hear is the pecking of birds, the odd ship or boat driving by and the beaming of the sun on your face. i could hear the voice inside my head saying, why do i not do this more often?
getting away is the greatest thing of all and i feel myself wanting a trip these days, to escape from the anxieties and things around me that are causing me much stress. as much as i would like too, it is impossible at the moment. therefore, this is why i went fishing on a boat in the middle of the river. it is so calming, you have to try it to understand it.
as adults, we forget to take some time out or never have the means to do so. everyone i know knows i love the ocean and unfortunately that only happens once a year. my options was to go do something close to that in order to really take a step back. i really envy those who can just fly off at a moments notice, go to a far off place and just think of nothing but the calmness and the freeing of our own voices.
i remember being told 3 or 4 years that once i started travelling i would get the bug and i am telling, it has hit me. i love it and want to do more. now if i could only find the means to actually do this, i would be in ‘la la land’.
with my move soon approaching, i can’t afford to take a trip but soon in the fall and winter, the airlines will be my best friend.
silence, how wonderful it is to your ears; what is even more beautiful and we take for granted are the birds chirping in the early morning. when everyone is still asleep, i am up listening to this beauty.
it’s a new week and one can never tell what it will bring. while us Canadians had a wonderful long weekend, a much needed rest, flowers are planted, pool is up and running and yard is clean. let’s not forget how the grass has grown and now is trimmed.
what we also face sometimes are things that happen unexpectedly. i have always been grateful for what i have, only because i feel in my lifetime i have worked very hard and getting things i need and want. my luxuries are merely a necessity to some and i can honestly say, most people in this world forget how beautiful life can be if you just listen.
another great thing is when you can really trust people to take on responsibility. i believe there are still people out there who are willing and able to help when it is necessary. i have a friend like that and although he may not realize it, he has lifted a great weight off my shoulders.
i run an organization that is very stressful at times only because i had taken on much of this responsibility on my own. day and night, i was beginning to swallow myself away and now, this friend (colleague) has helped. learning has always been my forté and this lesson was about delegating some of the work, trusting in others and feeling good about it.
well today, this morning, i am confident i will not have to dictate this new responsibility which i have given to someone else. this will give me the time i need to continue my journey and work on my own projects.
insecurity is one of the deadliest feelings in the world; at work, at home, in social circles, even for ourselves. some people have insecurities because of bad conditioning throughout their lives being told it isn’t good enough or good ideas become stupid or crazy ideas.
‘been there, done that, wrote the book on it’
i guess that is why i am always trying to prove something to others and more or less to myself. recreating, finding news ways to be as epic as i can. this week i have made someone an important part of a team i hold leadership too and i feel insecure about it only because i have been burned by this before. but i feel i need to delegate these duties as i have to much on my plate and need to focus on myself a little more. i am tired and although most of the time it doesn’t seem like it, i need a break.
i need to rekindle my creativity and fire i once had and know that all will be good. how do i know these things? i feel my thoughts, i know what i am really thinking inside, giving up is slowing crawling up the food chain and i can’t do that because the repercussions would be worse.
for years i have been blogging, recreating something that i believe is of great value. telling the stories, sharing my intimate thoughts only because one never knows who may also be suffering out there with the same feelings. i think popularity plays a role in this, bigger and better takes the stand and until we are there, we are never satisfied. we keep filling more and more the empty spots until one day, when we feel that is enough, we stop.
the moral of the story is never take on more than you can do but be realistic in your choices. listen to your own feelings and go the best direction you know how. the rest will take it’s course!
taking a step back can be one of the hardest things to do when you are a person who insist on finding solutions immediately to problems.
the patience and tolerance needed to be a great person is probably more profound as we do not always accept others. yes, there are times when i just want to really tell people what i think and feeling, in that moment and time but i have to respect the value one person may bring to my day.
what i can do also is maybe see further into this persons’ life and accept maybe they do know better.
acceptance of another is called human conditioning for a reason. we are all unique and whatever upbringing one my have had, it is absolute. therefore, the next time you run into someone whom doesn’t measure up to your standards, let’s try and see where they come from and how they were conditioned to believe things in a certain way.
do not judge those who may have suffered, loss or even have been condemned to grief and a poor lifestyle.
“self love is one of the most important things in life”
life is so chaotic and sometimes we forget to take the time for ourselves and bask in our own central place. i see people every day who suffer with stress disorders and i wonder why they are so wrapped up in this unlimited amount of negative power.
people used to tell me i was negative but the funny thing is i wasn’t. i was realistic to all my values and moments. i have also noticed a lack of restful sleeps lately and keep questioning the “why”.
everything has a place and time and for me, when wanting things to happen and they don’t, i get very restless. therefore, i end up dreaming every night and awake tossing and turning.
so how to fix this crazy habit.
some say training your brain to release all before bed is a good method. although i value this, i have tried for years to clear my mind. of course being i am not a pill taker i will have to come up with another solution or the fact remains i will end up exactly where i was before via mexico.
funny how i can run a schedule, run my small business and yet when it comes to my own self worth, that brain of mind can’t focus. yes there you go expecting to much of yourself.