remember i asked in the special news column to think about your past life and how it affects your present moment? just wondering if anyone has done that and why no comments.
i realize in this internet world people do not like comments or they just browse through and leave.
so today i am looking at the clarity that is needed in order to make a life decision. sometimes we want to do something but aren’t sure how it should be done. there are many factors to consider or your plan may have to be altered. most of us all want to do great in life, i for one have been thriving on that for years but lately i have felt a sudden downfall in my ability to do anything. the negativity that is hitting is so drastic, that i am concerned with my regular routine of life. the good news is i am aware of it and can certainly decide whether it is bad enough to take a closer look or am i just hiding the real truth from the reality.
personally, i know exactly what is troubling me but i can’t say out loud. it is so difficult to live like that for the sake of saving face as they say and i am hating the feeling every moment i breathe. but i have to be responsible and respectable in case it becomes taken out of context.
there is a bigger plan for me in store and all i need is more patience until it finally gets activated. in the meantime i will just do what i do best and take life day by day.
my big challenge in the next coming weeks will be to really tell people what i really think. it is very hard to be honest when you are working in a public environment but sometimes it is also healthy to dish out the truth about how you really feel. some people really need to hear it in order to understand and accept the honesty and reality of life.
it takes so much courage to do this, even if you are good at it, there is a way of saying something without sounding vulgar or aggressive. there is also the old saying: ” the truth will set you free” and i am telling you it is about the more honest thing you can ever do. people are not always aware of your true feelings or how something they do or say is damaging, especially when it comes to ideas, choices and truth.
lately i have noticed more and more than i am about to pop my cork if shit doesn’t change. it is so killing me inside because i cannot speak freely on many subject and as i said earlier, it is affecting my health. the thing of it is you never be able to make a person feel the way you feel all you can trust is that you are saying what you mean because it makes YOU feel good. the results are of no concern, what really matters is that you hold nothing back, tell it like it is and feel good about voicing your opinion.
therapy is over rated, visit me more often and comment below. believe me, i will have no problem sharing it.
i sometimes wonder what really makes us who we are. we are molded into life by our up bringing, values, ideas, respect and as we get old some us fall off the wagon and make our choices. we forget what we were thought and decide to make our own interpretations of how our life would best suit us.
the problem lies within the need to make things better. i was reading a piece of a book how most people forget to live in the moment. some worry about their future, some find time to think about past regrets and it alters their today. why do we do this? because there are things in the past that make us who we are today.
should it ? NO.
i am guilty of this ambition, remember shit that happened in the past and for the life of my i can’t thinking how incredibly irresponsible i was in my younger years. had i taken a different path, how my life would be molded somewhat better. i guess maybe that is the reasoning i find myself in for the inner feelings of unhappiness for the most part. i have said it time and time again how letting go is not my strong suit but when will it be?
i know in my real world, people judge me all the time, they make their own impressions of my life and think they can fix it. but the real scenario here is my own choices and how i want to live my own life to my expectations. i am deeply considering my choices in the next few weeks and i believe it is going to be a shocker. i am feeling very tired and my body is giving me a good indication of that.
the willingness to be happy and wanting a better life is really within, which is a good thing. i feel as though i am inches away of making it happen and whatever reaction people have of me, well i am going to just say “FUCK THEM”.
making decisions are a part of life and a part of growing up. i have to say that i have been very proud of my son lately who is making choices for himself that are very adult and responsible.
there are times we do not feel as though we need to make choices. for some, expect everyone to decide for them and what is left is unfulfilled self recognition. you never to experience the pride of living your own dreams if you think someone else will always decide what is best for you. making decisions by other people’s opinions is another form of entrapment and you must break free from this unhealthy way of living. whether good or bad, fear will certainly take over when you are faced with making choices, especially if they are unfamiliar but i like thinking that everything should and could be an adventure if you only try.
wanting and needing are two very different things, knowing the difference could decide your fate. most of the time i just like to simplify my life in order to think more clearly about my next decision. my choices are always based on reality, honesty and the value it will bring to my well being. of course i will never the know the real outcome but if it alters my perspective for a better me, then i will go with that decision.
all we can do is be who we are and believe in that.
they say change is good and for whatever reason, yesterday i went all #epic on my hair. i cut it all off.
call it #menopause or whatever but it was driving me nuts. it gets heavy and out of control and i thought what the hell, it will grow back. which brings me to the reality of life. have you ever done anything so crazy out of your normal? i used to do many out of control things when i was younger, the adventure, the dare and most of all because i could.
as we age we stop doing the stuff that feels natural and only because we feel the judgement. i love music mostly because it comes naturally to me to learn a good song and because i can usually sing it. words, sound, especially if it makes me feel good, i will play it over and over until i have out done it. my latest epic song is #cake by the ocean, it is so funny, a bunch of people on the beach diving into a big giant cake. good tune.
i can’t remember the last time i had real fun. life has become very stressful for me and for some reason instead of moving forward into simpler times, i am living in more chaos. how do i stop this? maybe it isn’t about stopping it but more the why it is happening? why is everything getting to me at the slightest little disaster? i thought as we grow older, we lessen our loads. feeling very frustrated, i know i have to find some kind of way to free myself of all the bullshit.
i guess my #epicthoughts today are finding ways to relieve the normal.
there is a growing feeling and you just know when things don’t seem to fit. the reality is you do things because you have to live in the real world. the odd time when it is time to take a break from it all, you find yourself in a place where nothing and i mean absolutely nothing bothers you.
everyone knows mine is in that epic place where the ocean lives and the sand is so warm. i can often feel it in my bones when the sun is shining, no mention when my imagination takes me there. i totally believe we all need some distraction from to time and if you have never visited this epic place, you must.
lately, i find myself visiting that place often only because i am feeling more dissatisfied with my reality. unfortunately, i can’t change many things about how i live in my moment but i feel as though i can’t truly be happy unless i do make some changes. so i am again caught at a cross roads without a doubt. i think is being stuck, i am sure some of you have felt this from time to time and we must find a way to get out of it. the true nature of growing is to find peace within and if cannot change things, then there is no peace, which makes for a very unhappy human being.