in order to function in this world, we have to keep ourselves in check and especially when are children are little, if we aren’t happy and healthy, then they suffer. even as an adult, I know for a fact, when your well-being is suffering, everyone around you is suffering as well.
my position in this life is leadership; I am very good at taking on responsibilities that if I am ill, a part of my world can lose it’s value. I am very stubborn and independent and will not take any help from anyone. it’s a thing with me from my childhood and because of this, when I want or need something for myself and can’t accomplish this, I am deeply disappointed in myself.
yes, I think I am super woman and for the sake of saying this out loud, sometimes even her ‘laso’ breaks. I like to show people that everything is fine and I can handle anything and when something isn’t right, if I can’t do it on my own, then I will go without. I was raised to believe that no man should ever have to support a woman but she must be their for her man.
sounds a bit ridiculous because in a partnership, we are supposed to stand together as one!
well, this house, at times, does not work that way because of my ambitious character. letting my guard down has never been my strong suit but lately I feel trapped in another person’s body and I am slowly learning that my partner is their for me in all aspects of our relationship.
it also reminds me of last year, when I was the leader at my job and burnt out pretty quick not realizing how bad shit had gotten for my well-being. the thing is I am who I am and it is hard for me to delegate or ask for help as I said. I don’t know if it is a control thing but realizing it now, I think things could have turned out different.
so the question of the day is if we want to show our position as strong and courageous, what happens when we let our guard down? are we less of a woman because of it or are we showing our humanity?