without a doubt

spending time alone really makes you think about life and what suits your needs and wants. when you think that someone else wants the same things and know deep down it isn’t, you question your ability to make the right decisions.

i have made quite a few changes again lately but i know it wasn’t entirely for me. the problem lies when those decisions affect your happiness or lack of and you know no matter how you try and fix things, it will always favour one person more than yourself.

lets start with children…

i love mine very much but there comes a time when you have to cut the cord and let them make their life. i had made a promise to myself that this time no one would be involved in my relationship because after all adult children shouldn’t concern themselves with what their parents do. two people are are a relationship together as one not with their children or family. in order to grow a strong relationship can be no distractions until that foundation is built and strong enough to with stand anything. same as trust | if you do not trust the other person you cannot build a life together. my life, my relationships are never one the same page and it frustrates to think i try so hard and yet there is still many road blocks that i cannot deal with.

i question my values and the sincerity of others all the time and never quite come to terms with things that should come easy to me. i actually feel at this time in my life, i re-living my teenage years when i was the child living in a house full of people i didn’t really want to be with. we also know that in order for any relationship to work both have to want the same things and agree on the same boundaries or any uncomfortable situation. here is not the case…epic quotes

my head is spinning again because i know what was the plan is failing because these boundaries are not being met. last night i questioned many things but the focus was on whether i feel i will get my needs met. i thought maybe after being in my own environment i would have those answers this morning but as it turns out i do not. maybe its because deep down i am fighting this alone again and it is making me realize i really shouldn’t have too. commitment to another person means sharing all, understanding, compromise and acceptance. i feel very unaccepted and betrayed because my boundaries were not met and therefore that is like saying this is not an important part of who i am.

i am left with sadness…