.where am i today

my readers, there are many events going on in my life as we speak, busy as i am i must take a moment and reflect for my sanity.

i love writing, it helps me sort out the shit as i say. i had a dream, a dream of owning my own home, when that crashed in December of 2016, i had put it all behind me sorta speak but in recent months, we have discovered that it might be a possibility. however, there is a catch and that my friends is the big one.

i am frustrated to find out how difficult it is to get a mortgage, the details no one tells you about and my frustrations is all of that. the complication has lead me to feel that my dream of a home of my own is much like planning your future. it doesn’t exist as you never know the outcome. as much as we plan something, life has a way of showing us the true nature of it all.

this boils down to appreciating what we have and never taking anything for granted. in my early 50’s is not a time for buying property or even conceiving it. as negative as this all sounds, there are many factors in this i cannot share but i can tell you i think it is for the best. i am heart broken and left with a feeling of failure.

as i am true ‘bounce back from everything’, i will certain file this adventure and move on.

my better half may not but in the end, he will have to accept the way i feel.

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