by the afternoon yesterday, i was hit with an emotional impact. i was thinking of all kinds of memories and thoughts that for a brief moment made me sad. the realization was how can anyone be sad at this time of year but it happens all to often.
another thing that came to mind was regret, i really hate that word because it means things were either said or done in the past that we can never take back or delete. something triggered my memories of a past nature that made me feel like a piece of shit and i am glad to announce it did not last long.
as my shift was done, i was greeted with the one i love, whom was waiting to go get my birthday supper, which i might add was spectacular and an evening of watching our favorite show.
the memories subsided and i am glad because no one should ever relive bad acts of this nature. we should be festive and happy at this time of year, with all the colors of red and green and beautiful white snow on the ground.
as i move forward this week, only 6 days left and 5 to shop and make sure i have everything in order, i am pretty fortunate in a lot of ways. i have my health, my children around me and the love of a man who is very unconditional. i must say, i have never had a relationship that allows me to be me. i truly believe that is what it takes to make it work. being who you are without judgment or wanting to change that person and visa versa.
years of conditioning, understanding and constant love with always make a better relationship.