when times are really hard

there will a point and time in your life when all hell breaks loose and you feel as though nothing seems right. in your eyes, all that can happen does and it is usually not good.

the next idea is why, the question you ask yourself and have absolutely no answer.

i have written many times how life is so damn hard and you can’t see to pin point why this has to be. people in general try to live a simple life however the chaos just keeps coming. you make something good, it all turns to shit.

this is where i am at in my life these days and i can tell you, with all the experience of mental health, depression or otherwise, this one baffles me. it’s a different kind of sinking and i am looking for the answers. most people in my place would definitely fall into an abyss of self pity and sulking but no, me i look for the answers.

i can honestly tell you i am however at a loss at the moment as there is only one way for me to do this. take the boxes out, filled them in their perspective places and take one at a time out of the equation to analyze what the hell happened.

how did i let it get out of control?

how is it working so hard to make things right can be so wrong?

why is it the target is directly in my direction?

i am supposed to be the inspiring one and i am the one in need of some inspiration or light. the good news is in my teaching, i am aware of all of it and usually come out for the better.