what i have noticed this week are my struggles with life and people. the ultimate question this week is whether it is important or not but i find myself struggling with the fact that no matter how hard i try to make things smooth, i am still not satisfied with anything.
yesterday, i got a horrible phone call from my son and my thoughts were i wanted to go and rescue him from this massive disaster he was facing. my struggle was that my hands were tied and there was absolutely nothing i could do. i can’t really explain the situation however, i can tell you as a mother it is one of the most difficult things when you know things are out of your control even when you know your child is in danger.
the other thing this weak is life in general | i mean work is hard enough without having anal people on your back all the time. i can feel the tension amongst my colleagues and it is just sad that nothing can be done. we shouldn’t have to work like this | we should be able to get to work and enjoy our day. hence, another thing out of my control.
my last thing is love | something i can’t do anything about because the struggle is stronger than i wish to admit. loving someone means you have to love everything about them and are willing to live with it. i am not only because it upsets me so much that i continue this crazy circle of frustration because i love this person so much. the thing about is it is unhealthy.
therefore, all in all, after getting a great massage yesterday for the first time in my life, i am still tense because there are things that need fixing and i can’t fix them. it isn’t that i want a perfect little world but i want what i deserve.
why is it so hard to attain?