i pride myself in knowing people, how they act, how they verbalize their feelings and understanding their points of view. there are some people who just go out of their way to irritate others in order to gain power or just simply to make themselves feel superior.
what i can’t stand are hypocrites and liars. one of the worse things is when you realize that a person or people have been manipulating for their own personal gain. then the question remains is what to do with all this. when you know something has to be done and your hands are tied, you must sit back and wait. i hate that feeling because it brings more drama and self destruction to one’s own personal health.
if you suffer from any kind of emotional transition, it is difficult to keep 1 thought in your head let alone several. i have compartments that help me decide what is important and what i can leave for later. it is the only way i survive at the moment. last night i was feeling as though i need a big valve to shut the world off.
ever get that feeling?
it is awful. in my fifties i have never felt so much anger and frustration and i should not be at this age. peace of mind seems to be a luxury, one i cannot yet find or attain. what i want and what is are so different, i find myself at a cross road. when i feel i have settled one thing, something else pops up and i am right back where i started.
the lesson is all this: find your center, be the crown on the pineapple and hope everything will fall into it’s place.