there is no greater need then wanting to be happy with your life decisions. environment, time, people and loved ones can truly give you a sense of direction but it is their feelings not yours. how do we decide what is best? we look at ourselves and see what is wrong and try to fix it. as frustrating as this is for me, i have been fixing issues for what seems like forever. even going to the ocean did not fix what is ailing me.
now that i have returned home, i woke up this morning feeling a little lost as though i went on this vacation in my dreams and it was the reality i lived. i know i was there, because i have the bills to prove it but in a flash it is all gone again. instead of green palm trees i look at the dead branches on the trees outside my window.
i am thinking about work, the routine of it all and i know i will have to face that music on monday but for today i am simply looking at settling back into the canadian way.