.the old shoe
a friend of mine said: ” we go back to the familiar, it is like an old shoe”.
relationship failure brings doubt, low self esteem, the uncontrollable urge to make things right and as we try and try again to fix it, we ask ourselves why we can’t break free from the familiar. is it because we fear trying something new or is it just that we do not want to put the effort in trying to learn a new lifestyle?
when we develop a sense of readiness to be with someone else, whether physically or emotionally, the thought of all the first things scares the crap out of me. actually, it is exhausting when you think about it and i believe that is why we go back to those people whom we already know and just try and tweak those things we want to change. after several attempts, we realize we are wasting time and energy because there is no fixing the situation. the reason the relationship didn’t work in the first place was because there wasn’t enough love to reinforce the foundation of that partnership and therefore it was doomed from the beginning.
the worse part about trying on someone new is that you feel as though the real love will never happen and you don’t even want to try. am i a fool for thinking that? maybe, but if you think about it, i have exhausted many relationships and my thoughts are what will the next one be like? if my patterns are the same and i can’t fix the ones’ i truly love, then were is the hope for the next one?