The moment failure hits your life

they say when you have lemons, make lemonade. when you have the courage to change, you make history. as i sorted through some much need stuff the last 2 days, i was reminded about how i accumulate things i no longer need in my life.

you know it’s time to move on when shit hits the fan and you have no spirit left either. you must take action even if you know there will be a reaction and regardless of the outcome, it is about your sense of well being. i have been preparing for my moment and as it approaches more and more, until the reality sets in, i am still frustrated every day because i need the action part to happen. i am physically making myself ill over this stressful situation and i will definitely take extra precautions to not collapse. even though i share my personal experiences here, they are still my own and should never have to justify the feelings.

this is weighing very heavy on me lately as i even noticed it in my passions. the one’s for creativity. i can’t keep any straight lines and i am disappointed inside all the time. no one should ever have to live like this. i assure you i am not crazy i am very aware of my feelings and ideas and my mind is very sane. it is just that i know the happiness has left the building and unless shit happens fast, i fear i will explode.

people will never understand because they aren’t me and are not living this. they only have their own ambitions and way of life, i respect that. i only wish they would respect me. i soon will be able to really share what is the reality and i can’t wait to explode.