I used to believe that my life revolved around change; meaning I loved changing things around to make my life interesting. as I get older, I realize I am not liking change, more so I hate what is going inside me at the moment.
not being in the right place is very confusing and upsetting. I feel as though I am no longer grounded, there is no happy medium and life has taken me for a loop! all these changes are radical and I am afraid that if I don’t find my place in this world soon, I will burst or do something so out of the ordinary that it may alter life as we know it.
when I get restless, I make big changes but to benefit myself and I am usually pretty happy with it. the ocean usually fixes all these feelings but as I cannot go anywhere at the moment, I am left looking for another way of expressing my emotions and doubt. adapting to new environments is not my strong suit and I am clearly feeling very confind.
how to break free is next on my agenda or finding a way to make me happy will such a difficult task, I don’t know what will become or the idea of extraordinary has or is slowly slipping away.
FYI for those who read this, I am not in any danger but merely very unhappy.