in life, if you are told something over and over again, your mind starts to play tricks on you and you believe all that is said. sometimes, you even begin to feel as though there is no light and i am no stranger to that feeling.
lately, people say things to me that make me feel as though i am a nobody, i am not good enough for this or that. they criticize me in a way that i cannot just let it go. although some of the closest people to me say it is because these people are intimidated by me, i just can’t see past the negative.
how do i fix this?
i am at a stand still in my life, living the crazy and not knowing how or what to do next. i have been given less than 4 days to make up the rest of my life and making this big decision is probably one of the hardest things i have ever done. my heart tells me one thing and my head is saying you are a fool. just do what you are told and move on. my heart on the other hand is so miserable and it is affecting every living particle in my body. someone even said i should seek professional help and that my readers makes me sad because it is implying that i am insane or something when in fact i couldn’t be more sane. being very aware of my own needs and wants is one of the most sane feelings anyone can have. it means you are healthy and can make choices.
i know that all people are aware of their own personal issues and this is why they say things so horribly. however, when you are not in a position of power, you must take the back seat.
then the logical steps in and takes over all of the above.
what is the right thing to do?
if only we could foresee the future and what is to come but we can’t. the next step is to determine whether to satisfy ones’ own personal feelings: the heart or use logic: the head. i would like so much one day to tell you all the details of my life and express the truth about the people around me. i feel it would make things so clear. i can’t therefore, it is hard to understand all the details. i do think it would make for a much more interesting blog. don’t you?