ever consider that maybe all of our efforts are for nothing, that all we strive for begins to surface and nothing?
the idea that people work so hard at something and never succeed makes you doubt the inevitable. maybe we aren’t supposed to look for things that aren’t there. we want better jobs, better relationships, better homes, cars, clothes, we want people to like us, people to love us, and most of all people to accept who we are and what we represent.
there comes a time when you have to face the reality, the honesty and the conditioning. we are human beings who attempt all of the above and most of us fail. we then realize that as long as the bills are paid and we have food on the table and a roof over our heads, all is good.
but what happened to the dreams, the possibility that we could be something more, someone important, something better than what is presented? where did all that go?
I have failed over and over again and for what it is worth, it is not without trying to be better. as I see the near future, I worry that maybe my 54 years on this earth were wasteful. the effort I put into everything I have ever done was a big waste of time.
even now as I am writing this, I still wonder why. maybe it is just that it gives me purpose to wake up and do something, I don’t know.
FYI, I know people think I am nuts when I write stuff but it does not matter; as it should be.