the cruise, day 5

i love the water, the sea and anything relating to it. today we went on a boat cruise which was amazing. nothing but the water, the breeze of salt air. we visited the port of brownsville, seeing all the fascinating boats which are either being dismantalled or refurbished.

we even got to see dolphins. so wonderful and how they move along side the boat. this organized journey is great because they serve drinks all day and food for lunch. i think people forget to see life in a unforgettable perspective. i was talking to this lady on the boat who has now retired and is living this life of ‘don’t give a fuck’ in the sun and sea air. how i envy these people to be able to just retire and doing this on a daily basis.

there is doubt that runs through my mind because i feel in my present life, i will never have this luxury.  i supposed most of us do but what troubles me is that i started having negative thoughts again on my life and no matter where i go to escape, the reality follows me.

i was feeling home sick this morning, now wednesday as i write this post only because i did not feel grounded for some odd reason. it is as though the people i am with 24 / 7 were in the far distance and i felt the need to be close to them. very weird because i don’t usually feel this way when i am away. i think it has something to do with certain events that went on a few days ago and i told my spouse that i am washing my hands of it. i have nothing to prove to anyone and as far as i am concerned i really don’t need them in my life.

if they feel that they are better than me, so be it. it is the vision i see and the image they portray.

i have 3 days left here and i will make the best of it before i return to the cold of home. i have to do when i get back and i need to feel organized.

for those reading this, thank you for being epic and following my posts.