The chaos of living

time is so valuable and how often do we forget this until something tragic happens. self development has been my goal for decades and it is without a doubt, that i will be working at this for many years.

what i know today is this, if i don’t take time out for myself, i will collapse. many things have piled up and i am on the verge of just no longer giving a shit about anything and for that reason, i am taking a step back to realize what is important and what is not.

i had a massage the other and i today i sense more tension than ever because i am taking on so many different items. the reality is learning to compartmentalize these issues seemed so easy at one time and now i find very tiring. people count on me for everything, so it seems and i am wondering if it is just because they choose not to take on their own responsibility or because they actually have no idea how to proceed with different situations.

other people are just making my life a living hell and the reason it bothers me so much is that, i feel, they do not respect my authority on certain subject.

so what reality do i live in?

a chaotic, desperately seeking answers.