as the weekends, i realized i have not written much but as life would have it, i have been busy in the real world. crazy times, stresses of others weigh heavy on me and it made me see that i really can’t fix everything.
i didn’t expect too but there are times when i feel as though i should be able to at least find a solution and yet there is none in front of my face. people tell you to have big shoulders, shrug things off, let it go but unless they are willing to really take the time to appreciate my existence, they will never understand.
my second question is why i do what i do. i used to believe it meant something, now i see that maybe it is only because there is no other that can do what i do, who knows. it made me closely look at the qualities i have, how i can really take something and organize it specifically to the needs of others and make something extraordinary. self-doubt can be a killer and i have seen it happen in my own life. letting go, now there’s another subject weighing hard on my shoulders. i also have seen people incapable of letting go the reality they live in, which disturbs me.
is it self-doubt or just plain denial? how can someone live like that? accusations of others make feel very small in a lot of ways and yet i feel as though no matter how i try to inspire people, there are some who will go and no lengths to hurt me.
embarrassment comes to mind as well, when someone else makes you feel like you are nothing, it becomes that extra mile you need to use.i truly believe there are some people who just have no justification for their actions and take no responsibility. they say people aren’t smart can’t think but i believe it is the reverse. those people are so far in their heads, they mastermind every possibility to constantly antagonize others.
so i end my week with these thoughts: if they don’t appreciate my work, my life, my actions and even my efforts, then to bad. i will continue doing what i do and let whomever challenge me. facts are facts and you cannot change that. here are my shoes, take a walk!