when people burn out, what is realized is that we all need a vacation. a time when we do nothing, forget the world as we know it and concentrate on our well-being.
recently, i had to take such a vacation but more for medical reasons. i realized i was under so much pressure that i finally snapped! i can honestly tell you that at times you have to look at the big picture, see who is involved but mostly how it affects your everyday living. i was becoming my own worse enemy and hurting others around me. the anger, the anxiety, the agitation i was feeling was causing me to focus less on my job and more on how to create chaos.
i am pleased to announce that i am doing great so far and should be back functioning at my regular job next week.
what i also realized in all this is how i had loss my way of time management. i became unaware of how i was scrabbling to get things done and nothing got done. i was so organized before in my life and for whatever reason these symptoms of mind were cause me to just stress out so much that i didn’t care.
not good because i have responsibilities, important ones and in the last few days i realized i need to get my shit together. another big thing is we finally bought a house of our own. that my dear readers is an epic adventure. something i never thought i would ever have. i was very upset about the whole thing and for life of me i couldn’t understand why for so many years i thrived on owning my own home and when it finally happened, i was trying so hard to avoid the whole thing.
one morning, i woke up and it hit me why. it wasn’t about the house and all the chaos it took us to get it, it was the fact that i spent my entire life looking for a HOME. yes somewhere i could finally call HOME, a safe place, a place where i could be myself. the current house took me years and years to build that and now, i was leaving this having to adjust myself again. therefore in my mind, my peace, my safety was again being taken away. it was a constant battle, people taking shit away from me that meant so much to my life and well being.
in the last 5 days, we have been moving things, repairing and getting the new HOME ready, and i can say it is beginning to sinking in. we will be done by Saturday and the ultimate will be sleeping there.
the moral epic story is in all this, my lessons are remember to breathe, remember whatever needs to be done will get done, there is always tomorrow and remember to look deep inside when something is troubling you. answers will come when you least expect it.