there comes a time when you realize that so much is on the agenda and you feel as though you will never accomplish your tasks.
what i believe to be true is this: do what you can.
as anal as i am about having an agenda for everything, sometimes i have to take a step back and relax. i had a dinner engagement last night and for some reason i could relax. it was as if i was rushing this moment instead of enjoying the company and time i had to do so. but my brain was on overload and i couldn’t stop it.
i really have to learn to slow down because i know someday i will explode or fall down. a friend of mine said last week, i can’t fix everything but for me it is basically being on top of everything. it is as though if i am not i will be judged. yes the constant fear of not being enough lingers in my mind constantly and it never seizes to amaze me after all these years i still need approval from everyone.
it’s a constant validation that i should personally take note upon myself, look in the mirror and say i am enough.
my to do list, on the left of my desktop, is always full. someday, i may wake up and see it empty, however i doubt it.
the question i ask myself this morning is whether i stop this crazy belief or can i alter my thinking and just say: