have you ever had one of those days, where everything was possible and the happiness flew through your body and you felt as though nothing good bring you off the cloud?
that was me yesterday until I woke up this morning.
when I am happy, I have a few to many happy liquid beverages and it seems I want everyone to know. probably a common factor when people drink, they blurt out or say whatever they feel because is nothing like a little liquid courage to make things come out of the woods.
most of us have no regrets the day after because they feel as though people understand, it is as if there is an excuse for drinking and whatever comes with it. the famous lines like , “oh she was having a hard day, or he loss his best friend or simply there is a reason to celebrate.”
the other thing that happens is you start texting everyone you know because you want them to know how fun has entered your life in this moment in time, therefore sharing this with the few people whom you trust and know seems the obvious choice.
then, the morning hits and you text people you didn’t want to but in that moment, something takes over.
then for a moment you remember how many times that person did the same thing to you. all those feelings of stupidity leave your body.
while I never really worry about what people think or say about me, the one thing I know for sure is that, the people in my life do accept me and never question or are surprised by my behaviour. but there are certain times when the next morning I remember certain faces from the night before and think, shame!
lastly, there is the feeling of so happy that you are proud with your decisions, you are proud of your environment and very proud of the choices you have made, feeling like the queen of your street only to get crushed by something. what I am about to tell you sounds really childish but my neighbors where able to somehow purchase a pool just like mine and as I realized this last night and thinking about it this morning, it makes me feel bad. how dare they show me up like that.
stupid right? but those are my feelings.
when I did realize that, it took that one second to just say the party is over and so did all my good feelings inside. another thing, and last one I promise I am getting to my point is the look on my ‘bf’ face. I think really, even though he knows, I am very happy in my haven backyard, enjoying myself and being happy, he was pretty upset with me yesterday.
the moral of this long winded story:
I guess, I get upset because I feel as though when I am very content and happy, someone is always shitting on my parade and for what? I am just a normal individual, I work for what I want and get what I have because it is a success. the nerve of people who make me feel like shit for all of it burns my ass. I am not hurting anyone, I am not insulting people while having my little party on occasion and I am certainly not being indiscrete. so why do some feel as though they should rain on my parade.
the deeper issue is why is this bothering me?
I am grateful for the things I have and I am more grateful that in 8 days I will back with great people and working again in a place where I appreciate very much. I guess the conclusion is that piss on the ones who can’t accept me unconditionally and know that my true friends have accepted me and go on about my day.