self pity – the wallowing one does when nothing seems right and blame is the main concern for all failure.
in the dictionary is it described as: excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one’s own troubles.
death is so final, it is as if everyone mourns over someone because they feel cheated. same goes when the one you love so much for so love decides, that’s it! it’s over. the question of how some people can just walk away without any feeling for that other person, cutting off the very depth of the relationship that once was blissful. you spend time sharing, caring, loving being there for that other person in every moment; supporting them and giving them your 100% and suddenly there is no more.
i wish i could say no more, pretend as though someone didn’t exist, pretend as though i didn’t love them and just move on. my heart does not allow for that because i am the one always getting shafted in all relationships. they call that being to nice and i have had about enough. i think i would rather be a bitch and at least you get a response.
what is very sad about men is that the minute they toss you to the curb, they start seeing other woman so they don’t have to deal with being alone; they don’t have to deal with the guilt of being selfish in dumping a great person and never concern themselves with wondering if they did the right thing. bitter? you have no idea. it isn’t that i am, it is the fact that when you realize that your past relationships have been nothing but failures, you look deep inside at what the effin problem is and better to write about it than lash out at someone who doesn’t deserve it.
so for today: as i continue on this journey of the lost soul, i will remember that being alone is a time for reflection and discovery. anger is your best friend at this point…