one way or the other, life happens. which ever road we take, there is always something that alters your ideas and dreams.

what if the plan we had doesn’t work? what if the things we wanted, never become part of our future?

goals are always hard to define because we can work at something so hard and never really get exactly what we set out to do. i had a plan | for what it is worth, it is still there but i find myself wondering if this plan is so unattainable or wrong that i am wasting my time trying to achieve it. every aspect of my life is a production of what i wanted in theory but if i analyse it all each details is set in the wrong scene.

i can tell you in this present time, my life is no where near what i had planned. it is a distant idea of what it should look like and only a mere moment of what people perceive. i can go as far back as i want and look at my accomplishments and still not feel satisfied with what is in my present life.

speaking my mind on personal matters, deep feelings of needs and wants have never been my forté. therefore if i cannot express this | how am i supposed to get what i want and need? my fear is that rejection will play a big part in this plan and i will be living a life that still expected and not my reality.