it seems to me that when you are working towards something in a group, you are supposed to have the same vision. on the contrary, everyone has their own ideas and thoughts on how things should be dealt with. this in turn makes it difficult to come to a common ground.
how frustrating is this? very.
i get really upset, not angry upset but more like giving up on everything when things aren’t as they seem or how the plan never works out. you think you are doing something great or in the right way and then pppooooofffff! someone throws a side ball and you have no idea what just happened. i guess i may just have suck it all up and forget the idea that maybe i have a brain and know what the hell i am doing and pretend that i can’t do anything because i don’t know how.
or maybe, i should just shut the fuck up and pretend like everything is fine when in fact for the most part i like to think that life for me isn’t what it seems. being realistic, the real world for me is quite different than most people think or how i allow others to see me.
so where does this leave my thoughts today: flying away.