this morning I am reminded that we sometimes forget to tell our children how important they are and how proud we are of them. some parents do not have the ability to be a constant guide for the children of today and for that I am sorry. society shows us that those children who are forgotten, become less loved and less conscious of their actions or decisions.
my dedication this morning is my children, I have two boys, adults now in their years.
I have one son who is suffering from Mental Illness and had a drug addiction or so it seems, I am not quite convinced yet of that but he has landed himself in jail again. it is a mark on my soul, my heart and my spirit as i do not understand the meaning behind this behavior. he has been a constant reminder of my failure to be a good parent, although people say it isn’t my fault. of course not! but there are still people who judge and say it out loud. had I done more, had I been more attentive, had I seen the signs.
I will remind you that I did see all of it and lived it. my son has made his own choices, has constantly been in and out of jail for stupidity because he cannot deal with the reality of life. it is probably why I write this blog every day. there are many types of Mental Illness and my sons’ obviously have come with a price of defying the law because he can’t get strong enough to find the light at the end of the tunnel. it is not without strength and ambition that i have tried many many times to get him out of his constant bad decisions, bad behavior but it seems I have failed. for years i was reminded every day that i was to blame for all this and it was with the help of others i found my peace within.
I am not to blame! the reminder every day. I do not know what will happen to him and nor do I worry about it because honestly, it would drive me crazy. all i can do is wait and maybe, just maybe, the light will come on somewhere, someday.
on a positive note, my youngest child is a well together kid. i am so proud of his decisions to be a better man and he works very hard to prove it. as I see him change, I remind him all the time how he is important to me and how I really admire his enthusiasm for the type of job he has because it is a dirty job. he now has found a new company and is away from home a lot, which not only strengthens his ambitions but makes him more independent. he is a wonderful man and I wanted him to know.
what this boils down to my friends is this, if you have kids, please remind them each day or at least a few times a week how joyful they are, how you see them changing and growing, encourage them to be who they truly want to be and find the positive in all they do. even if you don’t agree with all their methods, the way of life, it is important they know you accept them unconditionally.