how do we even begin to understand people who just do not see our vision? i guess you do what you can and leave the rest. but what if the rest is not finished, what if your ambitions are never realized and you feel as though a piece is missing?
there are parts of my life that are left unfinished and as time goes by i realize i may never complete the ambition i have set for myself. this week i was shot down for some efforts and although i did not give up on the idea yet, i am wondering if my ambition is a waste of my valuable time. as i realize so many people are counting on me for this, i feel that the point is a waste of time. people will always do what they want when they want and how they want. it is like when you are living in a bad relationship, do you stay and sacrifice your sanity for the sake of an ambition or a commitment or do you walk away. in my experience bad relationships are best left behind and begin a fresh start.
this week i am facing the reality of never being good enough, something that has haunted me forever. it seems this moment is still haunting me in my career and the frustration is that i can’t let it go. why do some people push so much until one day you break down and give up? is it a mirror of their own ambitions or is it a realization that will open your eyes and see it for what it truly is? some people spend their whole life hurting others and my values should not allow me to be a lesser person that i believe i am. but there are some who believe they are better and will stop and nothing to make me feel this way.
in the end what am i left with…