My world, undecided

life is already designed for you, it does not matter if you change your desired destination, all is mapped out. i realized that a few years ago when trouble hit my life over and over again, unable to find that exact happiness i needed or wanted. yesterday, i was hit with a that feeling again, call me crazy but something is terribly wrong and i cannot get my shit together.

maybe life has a bigger plan for me but in the meantime it has been a living hell. i am so sad all the time and can’t find once stitch of happiness. people know it too, especially the close ones, they remind me every day. try living inside of me for a minute and see how that feels. i knew for sure that medication wasn’t going to help, its all about the outside of my life that is absolutely wrong.

most of the time i just want to stay in my office and hide. right now, i am attempting a project that was supposed to be for the winter, unfortunately, i felt as though my life in my office was chaos and fixing part of it i thought would make at least one room more peaceful. today i finish this masterpiece and hope to show it off.

so was this leave the rest of my world, undecided.