Sunday used to be the day when I could chill out with my favorite drink and just be me. of course, the weather hasn’t been that great lately but soon summer will find show up. as we had a long weekend, yesterday, I indulged a little and I find myself thinking of how my personal inhibitions come out when I have a few too many.
there was a time when shut up was my first name and until the vodka settles in and then my tongue was no longer silence. funny thing is and I feel a more positive side to this, my feelings of truth seem to surface and for whatever reason, it makes me realize or allow me to share the feelings I have rather than suppress them. even in my relationship, fear takes a back seat and if I have something to say, I will say it.
people will tell you I am bold, say what I want when I want but the reality is I do not. I hide many of my feelings only because sometimes it is necessary to shade the truth. I am sure that this is not healthy but I feel it is important in certain situations.
the other effect of to much jungle juice is memories. time makes you realize that maybe certain people who matter should be acknowledged. I have this one person whom for the life of me I can’t understand triggers certain emotions in me and I felt like communicating with her yesterday. I keep her handy in my contact list as she is a part of my life’s’ work in a way no one will ever understand. she challenges me I guess or maybe it is an obsession, who knows, either way, I kept her number in my phone just in case. one thing I know for sure, she does accept me the way I am and would not frown upon drunken text messages.
the only true thing I know this morning is that you must have at least one day to rest and be yourself, find moments that create peace of mind and truly keep that one friend you can either count on or matters in your life. you never know when you will need him or her.