.losing my reality

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finding beauty in everything you do can sometimes be very difficult. whenever i felt stressed or just basically fed up with life, i would find a moment in time i was really relaxed and recreate it. there are ways to develop ‘me’ time. but i do know this can be difficult for some.

there is no way in hell you can always believe that …

i was having an epic moment of reality. lately, nothing comes to mind when writing doesn’t seem to help my inner peace. regret, solitude, these are three words i find very familiar but give me no pleasure any longer. have you ever gotten to the point when you feel as though nothing is within your reach? everything you do or say seems wrong and all but the candle on my desk seems gloomy.

i always wonder if there are people out there who are happy all the time, that have exactly what they want in life and how the fuck they got there or were just born that way. i see all kinds of people and i see them smiling behind their demons and ghosts. i ask myself why fake it? or believe in things that aren’t really there.

i do realize this all sounds awful but this is a reality blog. most people don’t realize the life they live affect others, some don’t even realize how envious others are of them and if for only one moment they would stop and think about that, how different their outlook would be. i think about how i would start my life over, things i would do differently, people i would not associate with and how i would have listened to my own voice instead of others. i know today i would be in a better place for sure. but as we all know i have made my choices, i am where i am and i can’t change it.

we only have the now and nothing in the future can define this present moment.

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