ever wish you could change things about the road less worthy of yourself? lately, although busy with work, i have been thinking of my own health and how i am no longer writing my thoughts or feelings. frustration, mixes emotions are very difficult to handle if you do not put them somewhere.
in the past week, i have been very self-absorbed, relating to my environment, is what people expect and otherwise unhealthy in my eyes. my thoughts have been very random as well and all over the map. it has been filled with regrets, anger, ideas of where i should be and where i am not.
it is sad to say that society does this to us; we get mixed up in a world we do not belong and poof! we are right back where we started feeling those awful thoughts. getting back on track is never easy and finding that light at the end of the tunnel seem grey or even sometimes black.
this also reminds me of purpose; what the fuck is mine? the need to be important, to be wanted and loved is so great within me that i find myself searching and searching for this unconditional life for all who i encounter but there are some people who haven’t got a clue.
i have also been challenged many times last week with my work because old feelings surfaced and finding the strength to just push it away was very difficult but necessary. the face is smiling but honestly inside, i am disappointed and sad.
they will never understand…