i have come to realize no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you work at anything, there is always going to be some shit flying in the air.
people are conditioned to be in their own minds, in their own ways of life and for the life of me can’t seem to understand the relevance of a simple idea. lately, i have been thinking about how i had a bigger plan and it is failing. so much so, i am doubting all that is around me, even things on a personal level.
i used to have this great ambition to survive no matter what the cost, to believe that all can happen and will happen but now i see every time i turn this damn corner, i find myself living in hell.
i wanted to be realistic and here it is hitting me right in the face.
my reality has become nothing i expected, it is turning my insides into solid rock and i seem to only exist as if i were programmed this way. what i am saying is this: