today, I am working on tensions and as mine are running very high this week, I must find things that ease my mind as well as my existence. the fun part about self-development, you can learn so many new things about yourself you never knew and work with it.
today, I realized, that classical music really control my nerves. I remember in the past when I would have a headache, I would put on the classical and all would be good. I don’t know what it is about this wonderful sound that just seems to shed all the nerves. it is like being in a dream I suppose, floating on air, imagining being somewhere else, even for a few hours.
how I long to send myself into a dream sometimes, somewhere when a time of solitude and tranquility. I have been watching this show, which only had 2 seasons but it explored the idea of being in a different place, where you can find your inner self and although the show is a bit far fetched, it isn’t without reality. the writer of this show must have been feeling exactly what a lot of us feel from time to time, being somewhere, someone else and living in that moment. the problem was knowing the difference. watch it! if you haven’t already.
my brain often doesn’t work like other people, I am sure some of our past genius and great artist felt this moment of being different from others but what comes to mind is why am I stuck here? why am I stuck in this boring, unhappy life that I have made for myself? why are things not different, the way I wanted them?
for lack of trying, I think not.
don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful for the beauty I have, the love that is given to me and the people who actually believe in me but there are times when I question everything and today is one of those mornings.
why do we need to live in the normal? why can’t we be and get exactly what we want?