so ya wake up one morning and realize, your whole life has changed. you see things differently and ask yourself:
“is this where i want to be or am i supposed to be here?”
i closed many chapters in my life, opened many wounds and sought out the reasons for everything that has become. the one thing i have strive for other than success is love and it has finally hit me that LOVE is just a four letter word i need to bury deep inside. some people that have entered my life are but very interesting but have shown me things i never knew existed. others, have made my life a living hell and as much as i try to put them out of my life, they seem to appear.
so the defenses come up.
what i have really learned and accomplished is to stand up for what i believe for me and no one else. some take it and respect it others will simply try and make it as though i am the fungus in their lives. my question is who stays? and who goes? what is best for me?
i don’t know.
i like the idea that nothing is planned and let life do what it has to do. there is already a bigger plan in place for all of us and we have to accept that. so whatever happens, it is because it is meant to be there for us to either enjoy or toss aside. we do not have to explain anything to anyone, we do not have to report to anyone and we certainly do not have to justify why we do what we do at any given time.
what is important is that we feel we are living for ourselves and we know what is best for our well-being. right now, my focus is on work, as much as i can, to get the things i want, so that i don’t have to worry about anything. tired? yes i am but i know in the end of this mission, i will have accomplished it all on my own.