i have had two great loves in my life, both have failed and left me very disappointed and burned by the fact they cannot factor me in their lives. not to mention they have issues with commitment, therefore i have asked myself time and time again, why i keep going back to this kind of unhealthy relationships?
the last three days i have been a series of questions and silence. my current love has left me hide and dry again for the | i can’t count how many times | because this is what he does to me. he can’t face talking about issues we have therefore he ignores me. honestly, the last few times i did make the initial steps to set things straight but this time i know i must let it go.
he is just using whatever life i have left and sucking it out of me. i can’t take it any longer and it just devastates me to the point of questioning my inner values. why waste time on someone who doesn’t have any consideration for my feelings and doesn’t see it necessary to communicate when in a relationship?
which lead me to the honest truth…there is none | he obviously never wanted the relationship and it was only convenient for him when he was available. the sad part is that this had happened over and over in the past and i knew this but i was trying to make it work, nonetheless. the compromises were becoming more and more and i could feel the rejection setting in.
this is not the life i want. i want someone who will be there, take the time to communicate with me when plans are in place and not just assume this is acceptable for both.
now the hurt out weighs everything and i must go through the motions in order to be stronger in the end. i hate this feeling of emptiness because it shows me how naive i was in thinking this man would ever, ever really commit to me.
i just hope i can come back from this without remorse, regret and smarter.