i find myself thinking of two things since yesterday and they are death and marriage.
let’s start with marriage…
years ago, i would have never dreamed of being married again it has haunted me for years now that the idea of having your soul partner, knowing they would stay with your until death do you part, would be such a miraculous thing. i spoke to two women yesterday who said how difficult it has been for them because she has been confined to a wheelchair for 9 years and yet her husband still stuck at her hip bares her pain and frustration but nonetheless…till death do they part.
i also spoke to another woman who told me someone she knows is quite the opposite. when she got sick, the husband was nowhere to be found, didn’t care for her or even visited the hospital. the words “for better or worse’ came to mind and i could really relate to that. i considered maybe my fantasy of being married | would the man who is brave enough to love me and marry stand by my side if i got ill or ended up in a wheelchair?
the good news is i won’t have to worry about that because for sure no one is strong enough to marry me or let alone even stay with me through the smallest little dispute | beside, being 50 means you make a choice | let go of what isn’t there in the first place and accept ‘single life’ | til death do me part. i wrote a piece on this years ago ‘rejection is like death’
i got news yesterday of a friends father’s death and i can imagine how he is feeling but it also made me think of relationships and pain. he no longer suffers, for one thing, the family isn’t bothered by the constant care he needed and i truly believe death is the miracle of life because everyone should be at peace. it’s final, there is no coming back | i feel everyone should celebrate death because it is a shutoff valve for not only pain and suffering but the end of the questions.