I was listening to a song this morning called “Way Down We Go” and never understood the words until someone quoted:
“I have listened to this song so many times and I have interrupted it many ways. But tonight I think I finally understand it. People you love will judge you and tell you how to live your life. If you buy into their concepts, you will lose yourself and everything you value. Don’t let that happen. You may be more valuable in this world than you can imagine. Rock on in a positive way, but don’t forget about people who need your help!”
Judgement is horrifying, isn’t it and if we let it suck us into a deep hole, there may be no way of getting out. I believe any kind of failure bares repeating and the concept of why shit happens so often to some people and not others, really pisses me off. Bad luck or no luck, I’ve known pretty much all my life and even though I have struggled to come back up many times over, it is still fact!
the feelings I bury deep down are self pity and destruction of ones’ own mind and determination. I can’t even explain the way I feel although I feel pretty useless at times. Life should have meaning, it should want to excite you, bring light to everything you do and say but for some reason, there is this little mark inside that keeps me down.
Self worth is very hard and it is a personal experience I am feeling again in my life for whatever reason. The very idea that even though people say I can accomplish anything doesn’t mean I will get what I want. it just means, even though I am qualified to do whatever, I can’t seem to believe any of the shit and can’t grasp the life I truly want and deserve I might add.
therefore today I leave you with my personal feelings of disappointment and hope that maybe, just maybe someday, luck will find its way here and prove me wrong! right now I see red and negative.