this week i have been lacking in my writing only because life has taken much of my time. we all have to work for a living and once the day is done, i have no energy for anything. my brain hurts, my body tells me to slow down or lay down, which ever comes first.
so it’s Sunday, our wonderful Canadian holiday, Thanksgiving.
oupie! we are supposed to rejoice and give thanks for whatever we feel warrants appreciation, gratitude and life. well, most people who know me i have much attitude lately about all of the above and i will take whatever people throw at me with a grain of salt. what i am grateful for is my strength for survival, living for those who can’t and won’t understand the value of being human and honest. i used to believe i was living for my kids, showing them the way to a better life and knowing i had to do whatever it took to make them better men. as they grew older i have noticed this isn’t the case. they are their own people now and i can longer hold their head and hands.
i am left with only myself and the need to stop fighting for everything that i wish and hope for. i have tried to be content with all that i have and do but for some reason it is never enough to make me whole.
so my search for greatness and peace is still holding much value. my thoughts today are with my oldest son who can’t be here with me.