when you doubt yourself, life, people, you activate a negative feeling but what is really lying under this emotion? did someone or something set you off course?
self deprivation is one of the worse causes of stress and it certainly brings out more demons. why do we do this to ourselves when it is a mere factor. taking a detour from your goals or life plan can certainly be questionable. when you set something in place, maybe it is better to write them down so that you can remind yourself of where and when you are heading or even the reasons why.
today, i face my own reality of issues, loss of creation, the epic reality is that i like change, it keeps me motivated. i was awake at 3:30 am this morning, not only because i was in pain but because this brain of mine never takes a break. i struggle so much with people’s perspective these days, i can’t shake it.
i keep wondering why is it when something is said out loud, it has to be made into a big story. why can’t people just accept it for what it is and let it go, move on with your life, go about your own business. i am struggling with my own health issues and i certainly don’t have time or energy for playing this game of cat and mouse.
at the age of 53, i was supposed to be and have simplified my life and for some reason every time i try and unload some of my burden, it creates another unforeseen epidemic. i just want peace of mind, i want to wake up and go to work, come home and watch some tv and be normal.
people need to get out of my head, stop stressing me with their bullshit and accept me and my feelings.