.discipline and time

welcome home epic!

as i rearrange, finish laundry, find my groove back home, the routine begins to sort itself out. my desk area is my sanction and now that i have placed everything back, i can finally continue my daily chaos.

that’s right! chaos.

neglecting my writing is some thing i hate doing but lately i did not write from the heart, i just wrote the adventures i have been on while in Texas. now back to reality it is and what i do best. this week is going be very challenging to say the least as there are many things i must catch up on. i still have this negative feeling inside that certain parts of my life are not as they seem or should be and this frustrates me. i guess that is why i like running away from it all because then i can just be me.

it seems weird that in certain places that we feel most comfortable, we can also feel uncomfortable.

people never really see what is really going on with me because i don’t let them. even if they question me on certain things, am i true to the core or not? probably not but only me needs to know that. the word that comes to mind this morning is trust. one of things i have most difficulty with is trust, i trust no one and especially when i know for a fact they are just acting nice and all polite to pretend. i keep wondering why we do this charade of showing when deep down it is only hurting the one true person, yourself.

i have very mixed feelings lately about so many things and i really need to focus on one and get it over with. then if my time management kicks in, i may be in a better place.

on a personal note, it is really great to be home for sure, the people that really matter in my life, appreciate me and miss me when i am gone. i see that in a big way and now that i can focus on this personal growth again, i must also finish some projects at hand.

my thoughts for today are this: we can only accomplish one thing at a time but we can do so much with our epic reality. find yours