we often forget the sound of own voice, our thoughts and even feelings. there is no better way to describe an emotion by simply listening to the only sound that is sane. our own. in our everyday lives, noise can obstruct any decision making unless we really condition ourselves to strictly blocking out all other noise but sometimes that is difficult and we must take a few moments.
today, for me, this is one of those moments. i woke up with a very bad migraine and trying to deal with my reality was difficult. so i decided to sit quietly on my sofa and write. if we can clearly see what is bothering us we can make sense of our next direction. people rush into decisions without even considering any end results and sometimes without logic.
it takes great strength to stop and think about anything really important, lives of others, consequences and for the most part i have mastered the ability to do this. i take pride in knowing i am making the right decisions for others and myself but sometimes as we know all know it is never as it seems.
others take advantage of power and i do not. i see things for what they truly are and do not fantasize about the unrealistic value of anything. maybe the fact that i do not trust people helps me make rash decisions or maybe it is the fact i have lived many situations where myself have jumped the gun as they say and regretted certain decisions.
i have learned.
over analizing was another of my weaknesses way back when and it is no longer necessary to do this as it only creates chaos. our minds can so make things much worse than it has to be, rather i would prefer to stick to my reality or facts of any given situation.
today, i am contemplating writing another book, maybe my last one but it has been brewing for a while. i keep asking myself what do i have to offer the world, what could i possibly write down that would finally make me a somebody.
i still have a lot to learn.