it seems obvious that even taking one day off doesn’t seem to be enough to do the things you want to do. even relaxing is impossible because your brain continuously goes round and round thinking of this and that.
well in my brain.
i have so much on my agenda and i need to do so many things that i can’t seem to relax. sleeping is an option these days, luckily i managed to nap in my pool for an hour yesterday, seems to be the only place i can really take time away. i have been thinking about travel lately, how winter can’t get here soon enough for me to take my adventures south and how i miss the ocean and palm trees. i am very fortunate i can do that and plan for those days when i can take off on a plane to a foreign destination.
yesterday, i also was thinking about things i haven’t even accomplished or should i say dreams that have never been realized. age really creeps up on you when you think about shit. 4 years ago, i have promised myself i would not stop myself from doing what i want to do but it seems life has a way of turning dreams and ambitions in another direction.
today i leave you with an old tune i found…food for thought
remember i asked in the special news column to think about your past life and how it affects your present moment? just wondering if anyone has done that and why no comments.
i realize in this internet world people do not like comments or they just browse through and leave.
so today i am looking at the clarity that is needed in order to make a life decision. sometimes we want to do something but aren’t sure how it should be done. there are many factors to consider or your plan may have to be altered. most of us all want to do great in life, i for one have been thriving on that for years but lately i have felt a sudden downfall in my ability to do anything. the negativity that is hitting is so drastic, that i am concerned with my regular routine of life. the good news is i am aware of it and can certainly decide whether it is bad enough to take a closer look or am i just hiding the real truth from the reality.
personally, i know exactly what is troubling me but i can’t say out loud. it is so difficult to live like that for the sake of saving face as they say and i am hating the feeling every moment i breathe. but i have to be responsible and respectable in case it becomes taken out of context.
there is a bigger plan for me in store and all i need is more patience until it finally gets activated. in the meantime i will just do what i do best and take life day by day.
my big challenge in the next coming weeks will be to really tell people what i really think. it is very hard to be honest when you are working in a public environment but sometimes it is also healthy to dish out the truth about how you really feel. some people really need to hear it in order to understand and accept the honesty and reality of life.
it takes so much courage to do this, even if you are good at it, there is a way of saying something without sounding vulgar or aggressive. there is also the old saying: ” the truth will set you free” and i am telling you it is about the more honest thing you can ever do. people are not always aware of your true feelings or how something they do or say is damaging, especially when it comes to ideas, choices and truth.
lately i have noticed more and more than i am about to pop my cork if shit doesn’t change. it is so killing me inside because i cannot speak freely on many subject and as i said earlier, it is affecting my health. the thing of it is you never be able to make a person feel the way you feel all you can trust is that you are saying what you mean because it makes YOU feel good. the results are of no concern, what really matters is that you hold nothing back, tell it like it is and feel good about voicing your opinion.
therapy is over rated, visit me more often and comment below. believe me, i will have no problem sharing it.
i sometimes wonder what really makes us who we are. we are molded into life by our up bringing, values, ideas, respect and as we get old some us fall off the wagon and make our choices. we forget what we were thought and decide to make our own interpretations of how our life would best suit us.
the problem lies within the need to make things better. i was reading a piece of a book how most people forget to live in the moment. some worry about their future, some find time to think about past regrets and it alters their today. why do we do this? because there are things in the past that make us who we are today.
should it ? NO.
i am guilty of this ambition, remember shit that happened in the past and for the life of my i can’t thinking how incredibly irresponsible i was in my younger years. had i taken a different path, how my life would be molded somewhat better. i guess maybe that is the reasoning i find myself in for the inner feelings of unhappiness for the most part. i have said it time and time again how letting go is not my strong suit but when will it be?
i know in my real world, people judge me all the time, they make their own impressions of my life and think they can fix it. but the real scenario here is my own choices and how i want to live my own life to my expectations. i am deeply considering my choices in the next few weeks and i believe it is going to be a shocker. i am feeling very tired and my body is giving me a good indication of that.
the willingness to be happy and wanting a better life is really within, which is a good thing. i feel as though i am inches away of making it happen and whatever reaction people have of me, well i am going to just say “FUCK THEM”.
making decisions are a part of life and a part of growing up. i have to say that i have been very proud of my son lately who is making choices for himself that are very adult and responsible.
there are times we do not feel as though we need to make choices. for some, expect everyone to decide for them and what is left is unfulfilled self recognition. you never to experience the pride of living your own dreams if you think someone else will always decide what is best for you. making decisions by other people’s opinions is another form of entrapment and you must break free from this unhealthy way of living. whether good or bad, fear will certainly take over when you are faced with making choices, especially if they are unfamiliar but i like thinking that everything should and could be an adventure if you only try.
wanting and needing are two very different things, knowing the difference could decide your fate. most of the time i just like to simplify my life in order to think more clearly about my next decision. my choices are always based on reality, honesty and the value it will bring to my well being. of course i will never the know the real outcome but if it alters my perspective for a better me, then i will go with that decision.
all we can do is be who we are and believe in that.
gossip, one of the worse things in the world, it destroys another person to no end. we see people daily who feed themselves on talking shit that really makes no sense.
why do they do it? my honest opinion is insecurity. they lack the ability to fix their own lives therefore they thrive on trying to impact others by telling stories. the problem with this is most people, as smart as they are notice a pattern and feel less compelled to listen to this kind of garbage. my logic is factual! i know deep down these people do it because they really feel an urge to hurt someone else.
then the brain starts to work.
why would someone continuously do this to another person, knowingly? to see how far they can go? to push buttons so far that this other person will have to take drastic measures to finally shut another persons mouth?
i am a very smart person and i do have an impact on what is said but for some odd reason, at times, there is a limit to what i can tolerate. when it is personally pointed at me, i do get to the source of the issue. i have seen for years how there is always one bad egg in the bunch and unfortunately, it never ends. then comes my bigger issue, letting it go, i can’t. i believe people need to realize that you can’t do this kind of shit to others. you cannot keep manipulating something until it bleeds. it will affect many people in the end and that one bad egg must be stopped.
the next step is knowing the logical way of doing this. the hard part is also dealing with that person so they understand their persistence will certainly hurt others and eventually have consequences.