for years i have been preaching about the reality of life, telling you how your own well being is the best possible medicine, do what you can to make things right for you and yet i find myself thinking this morning that maybe this world does not tolerate this kind of behavior.
this problem stems from trying to make things so right and great for myself and in the end to always be disappointed. the world around us knows no boundaries and everything is always just so out of reach. i also been preaching about everything happens for a reason, that maybe the things you want and desire aren’t what is but rather an illusion of an inflated head.
i am very tired these days of thinking i should be in a better place and without success for my efforts. being shot down for all my good ideas and the people in charge always seem to know better. it’s a lose lose situation and for me it is more of a disappointment.
the problem is in my mind i feel i deserve better and i just can’t get it. i stay stuck at the bottom of the barrel and never really accomplish something bigger. therefore, my frame of mine is trashed and i am left feeling, disgusted about my hard work and efforts. so why bother?
i know also inside, this is a place i don’t want to be and it must change. the question now lies in the when. how long must i endure this awful feeling of disappointment and what is the next action or step to take in order to bring myself back to a comfortable moment. people can tell you never give up but you know in your own mind they disillusion thinking this way, it’s not reality.
we need to face the truth that lies in front of us and work around that.